What is even going on?
and other signs of the apocalypse
Welcome time travelers, past and present and future:
Today let’s look for signs of the apocalypse shall we?
(are you kidding me? I’m not listing them - you try to do a Google search on signs of the Apocalypse why don’t you? You’ll be in the middle of warring conspiracy theorists in seconds. Who needs that? It’s a beautiful day outside. Go to the beach!)
Instead of discussing the impending end of days, let’s just look for bizarre random things that are going on in the real world, shall we?
Plague of locusts…check.
Everyone, please join the state of New Jersey in this campaign to get rid of lanternflies. I do not care if you like their bizarre flying combo of red black and white patterns (yes, they are very cool the first time you see them, until you are told how invasive a species they are and worse how they will decimate NY States apples and other crops if they find their way upstate—don’t like apples? how about grape vines, how about maple trees?)—these bugs need to be eliminated.
I have been seeing them everywhere: I must have passed twenty today on sidewalks in Lower Manhattan. They are as indifferent as pigeons to foot traffic, but, like pigeons, sense danger and get the heck out of the way when they feel it coming—the trick is to step on them without breaking stride. You can do it on your daily commute. Kill as many as you can. Thank you from your most pacifist New Yorker Friend.
Sometimes people notice that I write well. I like that. For example, I’ve been secretly told that I am a finalist for TWO big writing prizes. Both competitions have sworn me to secrecy. I think that is very….interesting. (One prize is for my unpublished sci-fi literary manuscript and one is for Book & Baby.) The finalist list for the one will be published tomorrow and the finalist list for the other is only made public when the prize is announced in October.
So here I sit. Knowing but being unable to share.
I did also publish a review this week - and if you’re reading this newsletter before 2pm and are anywhere near Zuccotti (aka “Liberty”) Park, do grab your coffee in a paper cup and rush over to see the final performances of this incredible existential puppetry show by the Phantom Limb Company. If it’s after 2pm, you missed it, but you can still read my review - unfortunately there are no spoilers in it, which makes it better for you to actually see the short but brilliant show itself: 12pm, 1pm, 2pm. Free. Outdoors in the shade at Zuccotti park.
I wonder who is getting rich off the fake flowers that have sprung up all over the outdoor restaurants and cafes of Manhattan. There seem to be no end to the plastic arbors on the outsides of everything from restaurants to pet shops. It’s gorgeous at first glance and definitely pulls me in to sit under their odorless shade - but I want real green. I want my CO2 to be converted to O2. Bring back sidewalk trees.