How cold is it?

I’m visiting a college where the weather is minus twelve. In Texas, folks would call that “colder than a witch’s tit” -- my frozen brain can make no sense of this. I mean, a witch=cold? Why? Don’t they have control of weather?

But even if withes are cold, a tit=the coldest part of no one. I could see “drier than a witch’s tit” or “colder than the wart on the tip of a witch’s nose”.... oh wait! Maybe it is because witches were thought to dance naked at night? So of the whole community, their tits were the coldest?

Let’s go with that. Anyway -12 is too cold for any human activity besides sitting near a fire and discussing stuff like this.

(I am trying out the new function of Substack that allows anyone to post something short from the app. I don’t know if this will go to my free subscribers on mmdevoe.substack.com or not. If I cluttered your inbox a day early, I’m sorry. If you are a stranger and want more drivel like this, my substack “This is Ridiculous” comes out Sundays. Stay warm, people!)