Hi, erratic tentacles of humanity, thanks for spending some time on this freaky newsletter!
Here’s the ridiculous stuff that kept me from my creative writing this week:
I went to see my college kid. We were allowed one hour, masked. No hugs. No touching. My husband, son, daughter and I each sat in four corners of a tent (the kind people use to cover sign-up tables) and we were all masked and we did not hug and we learned that the boy is now vegetarian, watching French Art Films, and about to declare a major. I am fairly certain this is a parenting milestone. “College level 2” Attained.
If it happens daily, is it still an emergency? My other kid’s school is devoted to communication. I love this. I love the school. I love the people in the school. I love everything about this school except its incessant barrage of desperate emails:
daily email very important please open!
don’t miss this vital Notable Month information!
Covid-19 crucial update!
urgent afterschool message!
First you flinch. Then you tell yourself you’re not going to open them. Then your danger senses get all tingly (this is about your kid’s safety after all!) and you click.
None of these emails—not any one of the twenty sent this week—has informed us that kids will not return to in-person school after Spring Break ends this Friday (two people in different classrooms have tested positive while away, and therefore the school building must close, according to some hasty law.) I presume we will be getting that notification late Sunday night. Marked….?
I can’t get rid of this bullet point. This made me think - geez. Who first called these dots bullet points? Are they called bullet points in other languages?
And lest you think useless emails are a public-school domain—
Here’s a gem from a corporate source—which had the alarming subject line: “Look out! Your points are about to expire!”
Good thing I opened that email. Wouldn’t want my zero points to expire.
Well enough complaining. Since I’m adding to your too-full inbox with this ridiculous newsletter, what right have I to fuss? Oh, 2021. So full of irony. Heavy meta.
On April Fool’s Day, I got my first anti-Covid injection. I am trypanophobic, and it shows how much I actually love humanity that I overcame my extreme-likelihood of passing out to help with herd immunity. For the record, the only reason I didn’t actually faint is because I buried my nose in a book. I am reading Rosemary’s Baby because I never read it before and it seemed like it might actually distract me. Which it did.
Yes. I distracted my tense anxiety with…..anxious tension.
Still haven’t run out of news for you. Impressive I think?
I just scheduled an interview by Andrew Cotto on Bookish: In the Limelight. What would you like him to ask me? He seems game for anything.
Previous news, in case you missed it:
Brooklyn Writers Press, “Hybrid Publishing Podcast.” Air date TBA
Read my short story, The Mayor of Flashback, in Santa Barbara Literary Journal was nominated for a Pushcart Prize; wish me luck!
Article called“Read this if you have Kids” that I wrote for writers who have kids.
Interview of me on the Once and Future Authors Podcast went live 3/16/21
Thanks for reading this far. Here’s a thought to ponder over your second cup of coffee this morning….
Is past news still “news” — or is it….olds?
Happy Easter if you celebrate. Happy Looking at People in Awesome Hats Day for the rest of you.