And…..presto!
Since I was small I have believed in magic of many types: Santa Claus, religion, astrology, superstition, optimism, love…. So many things that you can’t prove, can’t see and are stunned breathless when they work despite all logic to the contrary. But in the end it boils down to one thing:
I believe that there is power in the seeking out of magic, even if you never find it.
I strive to look at reality and accept all of it, every facet—to expand my own capacity to encompass the whole of the truth. An open mind must take in the pollution, the clutter, the rot, the smells, the crowds, the anxiety, the sadness, the noise and holding the knowledge that these things exist, still allow the eyes to wander up the nearest skyscraper until you find yourself smiling at the preposterous white clouds reflecting off the mirrored facets of glass and feeling the warmth of the sun on your face or enjoying a vibrant pool of tulips imprisoned by filthy gray sidewalk.
The contrast makes the beauty more powerful, because it had to struggle to be seen.
The real magic is that all this goodness is everywhere, even when we are too overwhelmed by the gray cement to properly appreciate it.
The one-man show I saw on Saturday made me realize that most of our lives are a magic show: we go in skeptical when to have fun we must let go of “how” and merely embrace the illusions, accepting that smoke-and-mirrors are part of the show! Letting go is the key to enjoying the spectacle! But in a brilliant magic show, what actually gets us is not the carefully crafted tricks. What gets us is the patter. The story. The vulnerability of the performer who asks us to bear with him a minute while he fumbles in a pocket and we smirk in foreknowledge, secretly hoping we will not be disappointed while also secretly knowing we will be - until the very moment of the reveal when our eyes widen and he did, in fact, trick us: but the trick is not that he turned a fake egg into a real egg.
The trick was in making us viscerally recall that back when we were children, we lived our lives full of wonder just like this, all of the time.
And speaking of wonder, I saw some incredible theater this week! I’ve given you free access if you want to read the reviews of the five shows I saw: Uncle Vanya, Patriots, The Great Gatsby, Fish, and Gathering: the Magic. Spoiler: The Great Gatsby is going to be the next Phantom. Everyone is going to go to this musical. And with good reason.
In addition to also attending my friend Sarah’s book launch for what promises to be the book we are all talking about this summer, I also spent a couple of rejuvenating and inspiring hours at MoMA.
About the new paywall - please read:
If you can’t afford to pay a couple of bucks for this Substack, that’s fine! I’m happy that you read it! Keep reading it! Someday, I might write more personal or sensitive posts and put them behind the payment firewall, or possibly post some of my out-of-print or very new creative work there. But for now, I will continue to make everything available for everyone paid or unpaid, and I will simply appreciate the financial gift that some of you are able to make towards the efforts it takes each week to write this blog.
Everyone else: it’s okay. I absolutely still love you - this is merely an entirely voluntary payment for people who wish to reward my efforts in a tangible and practical way. I still fully appreciate your comments and shares as well—!
Why now? - I finally got the rights to keep 100% of my writing and the income I make from it, so turning on the “paid subscription” button on this newsletter feels like my first step into real financial independence. If you pledged via the earlier button this fall, thank you so much - I hope you still remember doing it!
Writing News:
So many things. First of all in case you didn’t read it, here’s my prize-winning flash essay: Gabriel Garcia Marquez didn’t have to do laundry. (You’ll know it’s mine because the gorgeous headshot by A. Mathiowetz stands out among the other author photos.)
New news: This venue is also going to publish a new interview with me - goes live on May 5.
However if you are impatient and feel like reading a DIFFERENT new interview with me, I’m thrilled by this one on CanvasRebel (thanks Nick for the referral!). They published so many photos of me goofing off with fun friends and interesting authors that it looks like I’m always laughing. I kind of love that they didn’t caption any of these photos, so if you happen to recognize the authors I’m hanging out with, great for you, and if you don’t… shrug?
It’s funny.
Oh and speaking of funny: I had a hilarious back and forth with Gary Shteyngart on Twitter about his vicious and deeply accurate lambasting of the world’s biggest cruise ship while on assignment for The Atlantic. (However illogical it is, I feel like all the trouble happens on X. The rest of us randos are still on some alternate-universe Twitter where it remains as fun and as weird as ever.) But what’s bizarre is that a week ago Tuesday I taped the Pen Parentis Literary Salon (you can watch it here) and Keith Gessen (one of the three authors interviewed) is actually friends with Gary Shteyngart. Coincidence? Or magic?
Random Final Thought:
How is it that we don’t run into people we know more frequently? Three or four times since I moved here, I have accidentally come across friends from other states who have come to visit NYC, and these random meetings always delight me since they are frequently after years if not decades apart. I run into my neighbors a few times a week - waving hello a block or two away from our mutual front door - but never on the trains or at the theater or in a local park. Why is that? In the 30+ years I have lived in NYC, I’ve come across someone I know on a subway less than a handful of times. I went to so many shows this month and never once randomly ran into my other theater-going friends, even though we often discover we both saw the same show during the same month. It is funny isn’t it? Where do we all keep ourselves, and how is it that it is always so far apart from the other people that we know?
Watch me disappear: I’m going to London this week! Follow my author page on Facebook for lots of #walkwithme photos! But the true reason for the trip (though meeting a lot of interesting folks is on the books) is to work on my novel! Yes—it’s about time!
(also, if you’re going to be in London LMK!)
Have a great trip!
I forgot to read your prize-winning essay last week and I'm so glad you linked to it again, because I loved it!
And should you or any other writer reading this want to know more about your rights to your work, your ability to retain them, your ability to control them, etc., etc., etc., may I point you all in the in the direction of the wonderful Authors Alliance? https://www.authorsalliance.org/